DON’T F*** IN THE WOODS (MOVIE REVIEW)

 by Jeannie Blue

Oh, Valentine’s Day! Sweet chocolate, teddy bears, and ‘doing’ your beloved doggy-style in the woods! Just in time for the annual day of romance comes Don’t F*** in the Woods, a brand new Horror offering which first premiered at FEARNYC back in 2016, but now makes its way to Blu-ray and DVD on Tuesday, February 13, 2018 thanks to Gravitas Ventures. 

In Don’t F*** in the Woods, a motley cast of characters head out into the woods to escape the stressors of life. First there are Jane (Brittany Blanton: Dolly Deadly 2 2017, Failing Grace 2018) and Alex (Ayse Howard: Bludgeon 2013, 60 Seconds 2 Die: 60 Seconds 2 Die 2 2016), a couple who need some relief from their everyday, college lives.

They are joined by another couple – Conor (Brian Cornell in his acting debut) and Lacey (Nadia White: MILFs vs. Zombies 2015, Return to Return to Nuke ‘Em High AKA Vol 2 2017) – along with single Parker (Hannah Herdt: Don’t Go to the Reunion 2013, Snakes and Ladders 2016), who proudly dons her “Chicks Dig Horror Flicks” shirt for the occasion. Then there is perpetual pervert Mac (Roman Jossart: The Campground 2013, Scream for Summer 2017), along for the ride and, hopefully, some sex. Of course when the group runs out of seating space inside their SUV, Mac and his needy man-parts are forced to ride in the trunk.